Sure, you and your spouse speak often -- but are you really speaking the same language? Author and friend of STAR Gary Chapman may have just the translator you and your partner need to up your communication game.
In his book, The Five Language of Love, Chapman breaks down the best way to communicate and meet the needs of your partner, based on the way they best understand.
Here are the five languages, according to Chapman, via About.com
- Words of Affirmation
This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate's self image and confidence.
- Quality Time
Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner's love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.
It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don't have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.
- Acts of Service
Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.
- Physical Touch
Sometimes just stroking your spouse's back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.
To find your own love language, you can check out Chapman's book.